tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49515794856740995392012-01-02T23:33:52.327+05:00Tear drop lost within a sea.. unfathomably deep.. it struggles to breath.. it fears the end.. it feels.. it is on the verge to nothingness.. it fights for its identity.. it fights.. Alas! ....Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.comBlogger861100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-80404217795333234172012-01-02T23:33:00.001+05:002012-01-02T23:33:52.335+05:00

mere par jal chukay hain per main azaad hoon... zinda dargor hoon.. per main azaad hoon... zamanay ne berbaad kia.. iradon main shikast hoye.. saans toot gaye.. ab main azaad hoon..

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-40238711423624952902011-10-23T00:15:00.001+05:002011-10-23T00:15:55.872+05:00

Slowly as I tread away... tread away from my dreams...I feel a pinch in my heart...it beats with regret... anxious and woe-begone... tears... fall on the floor... flying high I had no remorse.... falling hard, I am broken.. In a forest full of demons... I find a rose beneath the grassy bed... I shed a tear for its loneliness, not comprehending its beauty is beyond words...it is beautiful, for

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-80236837754184841492011-09-30T21:06:00.003+05:002011-09-30T21:11:56.334+05:00

I have had it for today....and for so many days... things around me irritate the hell outta me and all everyone keeps on asking is...whats irritating me..!!! Bloody shit...know it yourself whats irritating me... my brother annoys me so much sometimes....well, all the time... and I really think he is selfish and insensitive............ I wish I cud hit him so hard that his breath stops... (read:

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-23578071767134376082011-07-01T14:37:00.004+05:002011-07-01T15:05:51.257+05:00

...she could barely stand up... The trees shaded her body... the grass wrapped her slender curves... the moon outlined her surface beautifully... she was innocent and so stunning. No man could say she was anything less than a dream come true…for her… life was different… she had walked miles and miles before she ended up in this forest of love… destiny had showed her the path… she had wandered

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-13899310859036770812011-06-23T00:17:00.002+05:002011-06-28T20:20:02.430+05:00

enchanting.. Life has a form.. A face.. A structure.. It reveals itself slowly with each step towards a destiny.. But this destiny comes with struggle.. Something I am very familiar with.. Sometimes I know and deeply regret, I am surviving ..not living as yet!Why do people remind me of what I don't have.. Why now? ... what I have and will have.. But it all comes with a price.. A struggle.. I need

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-72066728125426264192011-06-15T18:41:00.002+05:002011-06-15T18:51:26.009+05:00

I am so tired of living a lie... everything sucks... they say it is all under control... but its not... It sucks big time... I felt this way before... when life took that turn... and I feel like that again... I feel small... my conscience is clear... yet I feel shallow... I feel I m burying myself with my own bare hands... I think I killed her... I killed her... the one who lived inside me...

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-70300293437134619122011-05-10T11:39:00.007+05:002011-05-10T12:01:18.103+05:00

I did search.... oceans deep and in the heart of the soulI found nothing there... but the evidence that I existed for a reasonMy reason... pointless and meaninglessMy existence... has meaning though...I am a depiction of Yourcreativity...You love me several folds more than my own mother...yet... You never stopped me from walking the wrong path...Why...?? I fail to answer that...I know I am being

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-51499962945547700572011-04-15T00:43:00.001+05:002011-04-15T00:54:39.989+05:00

The heart is but, a shattered soulA lost meaning and broken hopeThe silent screams fill the abyssshredding brutally every inch of blissI lay there with no life.. Wondering...Why did I ever live....For life has brought me no joyBroken paths, no destiny

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-88843707018372778272011-03-06T21:45:00.004+05:002011-03-06T22:08:20.352+05:00

i need to escape this feeling of being caged.. I am so lost within this abyss.. I try and wave my hand.. To try and find some support.. Something to hold on to but I am in space.. I feel weightless.. worthless.. I feel.. All I do is feel.. I need to stop feeling... What the fuck is wrong with me.. I have the something 'enough' for me.. But even that seems to be unfulfilling.. How can I get away..

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-24228055760834995592011-01-22T12:26:00.003+05:002011-01-22T12:57:54.428+05:00

.. if I were to say Love is what I feel right now... I would be lying to myself.. coz what I feel is not Love... maybe it is a refection of what Love might have been at some point in my life... but it is not so anymore... Love, like human nature and susceptibility also evolves with time... I believe there is a certain obligation I have towards the emotion of Love... I owe it to Love to feel it

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-75301089062851112932010-12-20T12:19:00.002+05:002010-12-23T19:26:53.404+05:00

faasla phir faasla he hota hai.... aap meri zindigi ki diary main her safhay ki khoobsurti hain... mera pehla gulaab... mera pehla ehsaas... shayad jab mujhay maloom bhi nahe tha mohabbat kia hoti hai.. aap ne us ko aik pehchaan di hai...main nahe keh sakti ke ehsaas dono taraf aik hai... shayad kuch kum ..yahan... kuch ziyada wahan... per ehsaas aik hai... buss yehi ehsaas insaanon ko insaan

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-54186879300790004342010-12-08T00:32:00.002+05:002010-12-08T00:50:57.865+05:00

... I have been through a lot lately ... life has been unkind or maybe I have been paying too much attention to it.. Amma Baba had a severe accident and that lead me to think over a lot in life.... like as if I was doing something else before... but now there are more things that I am thinking upon! ... I hate what this country is coming to for so many things aren't right... and no one seems to

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-49138428252947976612010-12-06T19:09:00.005+05:002010-12-07T22:48:08.125+05:00

...it was the first time she had ever been so brave to do what she was about to attempt.. a leap of faith and a leap for love! ... she knew the conclusion for she knew his reality.. yet she was blinded by the emotions she felt inside... when her heart would beat a thousand times in a second when she saw his eyes... and when her heart skipped a beat when he gave her a smile. She had never felt for

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-72730084321951368042010-11-23T13:43:00.001+05:002010-11-23T20:38:46.817+05:00

I need to find a reason to fall in love again... to settle for one person for the last time and end up with him ... but love itself has no logic and therefore I fail to find the logic to fall... Lately I have been having mixed feelings about so many things and people around me... what to settle and what to let go... it all feels mixed up!

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-65658463880845398402010-10-27T13:09:00.001+05:002010-10-27T13:11:44.722+05:00

"You are a pure soul which emits positive energy around ... that's all."

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-83045520821190746982010-10-20T21:22:00.002+05:002010-10-20T21:37:40.704+05:00

uski banhon main... zindagi yunhi simat gaye...un kaali raaton main... uski saansain mujh main buss gayeraah pe chalte chalte.. manzil kaheen kho gaye...raasta taweel hoa... aur faasla kum hoa...per zindagi ki hakeekut ... aankhain num ker gaye...uske ehsaas main gum... woh yaad zakhm ker gaye...na woh mila, na zindigi ka ehsaas mila...jaisi thee, waisee he guzar gaye...per zindigi ke kuch

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-69392086058888631652010-10-20T20:56:00.002+05:002010-10-20T21:06:09.308+05:00

... we forget that HE is always there for us ...I was all blank for such a long time... as if all was lost... something kept me going... I did not understand the link between life and living... it felt more like surviving and struggling... felt alone... forgetting one true feeling... I was searching everywhere... for that one person to comfort me... to hold me when I fall ... to mend my broken

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-24400267269838527022010-10-05T18:35:00.004+05:002010-10-05T19:37:54.275+05:00

perwanay ko deewana na ker chahat main aye shama..woh tou jalta hai teri her aah main merne se pehle..... he says "samait lo" ... kaisay... how can I gather myself from so many pieces.... sab bikher chuka hai... kuch kal main .... kuch aaj main.. aur anay wali kal ka kuch pata nahe.. I feel scattered in my past... and in my present... I saved myself for one person... so to say he exists... but...

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-55813358504832119762010-09-09T16:00:00.003+05:002010-09-09T16:50:33.457+05:00

The day begins with a smile on her face.. some words uttered.. some murmured through her ears.. she knows the deep feeling inside.. describes it to the voice... the one she has heard from.. eyes open up and there stands a figure in front of her vision... it is the morning sun.. her sentiments are overwhelming to her own belief... she is most happy with this embrace... this newly found light in

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-39222999339028852752010-08-15T05:16:00.002+05:002010-08-15T05:28:22.208+05:00

.. I miss u as hell right now... I have this void in my heart... needs to be filled by you... right now... Ammi jaan... I miss u... I love you... more than anyone else loved you... not even nana abbu loved u that much :( ... I loveee you... I wish I had been a different person when u were around... Why'd u go so early... I still sense u with me... in my heart... everywhere sometimes... I can see

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-49775507632726359212010-08-14T13:44:00.003+05:002010-08-14T14:08:40.144+05:00

So much is changing in life... some changes tend to be good and some I presume will show their color in time... I left my job... left the corporate world and now I am into teaching grade 8th.. :) funny and ironic in a way... I don't have the faintest idea how I will do this... so not my thing I guess but I will try.. never quit in life that is what Baba says and that is what I shall follow...

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-34985040386015988912010-07-30T09:42:00.002+05:002010-07-30T10:01:23.719+05:00

I write what remains unspoken... what cannot be told... yet it is displayed in the eyes... for someone to understand... but what if the words are never understood... they float in space.. without a sequence... without meaning... will someone understand... how can they? ... when the words meant something... when they made sense... so much is to be said... but sometimes my tounge fails to speak...

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-35574543598561460562010-07-25T19:25:00.006+05:002010-07-25T20:55:21.612+05:00

Imagination..his gaze is following every move I make.. he touches my soul in ways I cannot even describe.. the spirit within me shivers.. the act is not of love making but its divine... pure... and innocent... whispers... love me... want... desire... my mind goes hazy...blurred images... imagination is wild.. wild with emotions... the desire to hold it in this moment and let it happen without

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-51492499605542244672010-07-23T22:36:00.003+05:002010-07-23T23:02:01.847+05:00

...I do feel him within me.. his presence is felt..longed for and needed... as the night falls... and the darkness spreads... I yearn for him... desiring ...the shine of the moon beckons at me... mocks me of his absence... He is far away... but I know the moon is mocking him too... he knows my heart.... he knows the truth within me... he says the purest of words with utmost innocence... he plays

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-66620040807174638942010-07-17T10:14:00.003+05:002010-07-17T10:34:10.366+05:00

... ankhiyaan bolti reh gayeen... woh sun na saka....I have chapters in my life... I think too much... I have people I love... I have people who come and go... ... mostly go... coz' I dont force them to stay... I like who I am... infact love who I am but... that is not enough right.... there is a deeper meaning to what I am saying right now... not you... you won't understand... coz' I don't want

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-15156783405219581512010-07-16T10:51:00.003+05:002010-07-16T12:30:27.917+05:00

Yesterday was a great day... filled with moments I shared and will cherish for the years to come... for the first time in so many days... I saw a serious you!!! ... Which to some extent was pleasing... but left me perturbed and in a thought process.. You know I am the kind hain na!!!... life is about ups and downs… about the highs and lows… about reality and fantasy… and it is about US... I want

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-50533191625996272632010-07-03T13:09:00.004+05:002010-07-03T15:39:06.753+05:00

... the strings to the moon were in her hands... she could pull it towards herself whenever she wanted... she felt empowered and confident... she could take over the world and just make it go her way... but it was all to change so easily... she never knew... it was gonna happen....He walked in to her life ... and all changed... she could no longer stand firm on her feet... she felt it all

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-17204499563188298812010-07-02T10:09:00.003+05:002010-07-02T11:08:58.131+05:00

... it all feels good to be with someone.. the increasing feelings and the escalated spirits... but then... there is something off bout something.. that you can't quite figure out... "Space" is a bad concept.. but it is applicable in relationships now... one needs space to clear ones mind... even though it is to gather ones self... but then again... why the need for that "space" ... Haven't you

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-39771154714721213662010-06-27T14:44:00.005+05:002010-06-27T15:41:11.970+05:00

November 2009... it all started then... you know when someone is meant to be in your life... no matter how arrogant or egoistic u try to be... someone will still be yours... or to think so!!... i never knew i was being checked out(not a dirty connotation to that).. u know... I never check out anyone..or for that matter i never even notice... a glance is enough.. not more.. but then... just a

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-28887094206595500622010-06-25T09:50:00.005+05:002010-06-25T10:07:07.196+05:00

From illusion to liberation.. From thoughts to desire..From notes to a song..From gentle to subtle..U cover the distance from dusk to dawn..U are my horizon and beyond!

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-14132150699120893112010-06-17T09:36:00.004+05:002010-06-17T09:52:57.417+05:00

... we sleep thru the night and wake up in the mornings... thats normal.. its like routine work u know! ... but then there are good mornings and crappy mornings... mines crappy today... reasons!!!!!!!! hmmm.... could be that I don't feel so good physically and could be that I feel nothing ... the "feeling"... I fail to understand why God made us feel... could we not just be senseless and without

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-14872989526528865722010-06-13T17:32:00.006+05:002010-06-13T18:06:46.666+05:00

Just as life offers you chances to live again… I found mine in YOU! … to feel again… to breath again and feel free… I was caged up… and still am… but your presence is bringing out the best in me.. to define you… I would have to define myself… you are so close to my own existence as if you were my shadow… someone I have never lived without but someone I have just noticed.. One fine afternoon…

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-2165578080906407762010-03-08T11:07:00.007+05:002010-03-22T09:33:47.116+05:00

... Yes! Marriage... a subject I am studying at the moment... why it is a subject, well it is ironic and hilarious… and to a very large extent... SERIOUS! ... Due to some odd circumstances, I personally do not believe in the institution of marriage anymore... since I see people quoting definitions like; marriage is just a legal contract to make love to someone and produce offspring’s. How can

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-66118114827308880162010-01-18T18:29:00.003+05:002010-01-18T20:42:55.779+05:00

it is an everyday feature... the long hours at work... the late sittings... i seriously hate it mostly... but then its a reality that I hate sitting at home as well.. i don't know what satisfies my needs... the fact that I wanna settle down in life or the fact that i like what i do.. and wanna keep on doing it.. just confuses me soo much... I just dont know most of what I am doing.. but mostly I

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-84435260431193168962010-01-16T23:10:00.004+05:002010-06-13T18:04:28.155+05:00

its been 7 plus years since I moved back from KSA... been a roller coaster ride.. steep hills up climb and the downward fall... the falling in love and the rise to misery.. love.. a saddened story in some cases but a very rosy outlook.. dont judge from what you see... it usually turns out pretty different from what it really is... I fail to feel if i was ever actually in love... was I? ...

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-19094367221273248522009-11-30T12:34:00.003+05:002009-12-06T14:00:50.485+05:00

this is more or less a written confession... for I will read it in the future and surely know what I was ... before I achieved another level of maturity... "you have done things wrong.. things that you will learn to regret, but remember they all happened for a reason.. the sole reason that they made you who you are.. and that is the best it gets..."

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-73624714497439164822009-08-14T01:24:00.003+06:002009-08-14T01:48:01.016+06:00

..I see my past beckoning at me... calling me from beyond... I respond... but I don't look back! How can I? ... it is impossible.. there is a long abyss between me and my past.. I have fought with myself to let go of what was mine.. but wasn't meant to be.. what should I do now? ... I cannot make the same mistake all over again... I cannot take the leap and plunge into the same despair. Maybe I

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-31687472445845820692009-08-12T00:22:00.002+06:002009-08-12T00:24:14.452+06:00

... palkon ke sirhanay baithay..khuwaab wohe jo aanay walay..... dil ki girha girha kholay..mun main pyaar jaganay walay....*satrangi sapnay ... bol rey... kahay sataye aaajaa*

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-54809748825906596882009-08-11T01:43:00.000+06:002009-08-11T01:44:42.784+06:00

I am unhappy... that is what i usually say... but today saying it.. i mean something of it! ... I have changed in the years... learning thru the years and untangling the entangled knots of my life! ... but now when i ponder upon it.. I feel like its all jumbled up! Life is like a whirlpool of words, storm of expressions... and an endless sea of emotions. There is so much to say and so much to

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-77592182726687048162009-08-06T00:05:00.007+06:002009-08-06T00:23:50.235+06:00

I have thought about it ... for a long time now... All I had in me before was Love.. and evry emotion was sweet..mellow and happy.. but something changed that... you changed that... But today... I forgive what you did to me... everything that went wrong ... evrything that was bad.. :( .. I will forget it... or maybe I have forgotten it... but I cannot say the same for the rest of the family... I

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-76072683294823808272009-07-28T23:46:00.003+06:002009-07-29T00:18:04.844+06:00

"kia kahoon mera jo haal hai...raat din tumharaa khayaal hai...phir bhi jaan-e-jaan...main kahan tum kahan..."hmmm... "a beautiful dedication to the most decent girl i ever met" .. why remember it now... it is painful to go through memories that did not last long but were beautiful till the lasted!Aaaj dil beychain hai... ik gumnaam sa khof hai... per jaaana maana khof hai... aik ajeeb ehsaas hai

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-18193878327249838682009-07-26T14:13:00.005+06:002009-07-26T14:23:54.208+06:00

...that is true... you are not a depiction in my writings... it is not you i think about while writing anything.. but yes what I do think about is how my life turned out to be.. it is true you lost ur chance to be the one to fill the gaps... but u had no right to increase my pain either... in the situation... u lost count of the hurtful and harshness that u laid upon me.... without realizing...

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-63310895732087493802009-07-23T18:05:00.003+06:002009-07-23T18:19:20.191+06:00

... it is strange... i am alone and yet someone is with me... trying to tell me i am not lonely.. alone... but i am... life was beautiful but now it isn't.. no it is.. life is perfect... i have learnt from my experience.. i was shattered before... for what i went thru... the way i went thru it... how the situation turned out.... i lost faith... lost myself... but toay, I am a stronger person...

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-69037971773565691182009-03-17T16:41:00.003+05:002009-03-17T17:19:32.683+05:00

I missed out on a lot in life... today I woke up with this feeling of being such a waste... as if my existence didn't matter... you know the feeling! .. where you feel worthless... maybe thats not the case but still the feeling doesn't leave... i feel all is blank around me... I have the same routine everyday... nothing to look forward to and nothing to look back at! ... its just so not a feeling

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-24510468182892963902009-02-22T17:07:00.004+05:002009-02-22T17:31:03.160+05:00

yeah... its true... that even a person like me can be happy just by listening to songs that cheer u up! ... its ironic, since i tell everyone "happiness depends on ur own will" ... hehehe! ... it depended more on the music i was listening to today... it was fun, a lot of it was coz i had nothing more to do plus the fact that i had just attended two mehndi's... dance, masti and a lot of songs to

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-30010815551294552532009-01-28T17:28:00.003+05:002009-01-28T18:18:41.329+05:00

ME:I have lived a lifetime.. trying to find my place in you... but I know I have lost... I kept struggling thru the years... to fit into you... it was perhaps baseless...pointless... I wasn't the one that filled ur gaps... I expect for you to understand me.. but who am I fooling... you wont understand... u are not meant to understand me... its like i am not the missing piece to your puzzle... I

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-3303888571571285822009-01-17T11:37:00.005+05:002009-01-17T12:48:57.908+05:00

...I feel I'm being pulled into this black hole.. the pull is so strong that I feel I am nothing but a weakling... i am tired of struggling and wanna just let go... Its like I don't wanna try anymore... try and make it work... or try and make it happen... still after such a long time... there is so much more time left... I know I can not hold on for long and I have had enough... after all my

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-41446567348041644532009-01-13T14:33:00.003+05:002009-07-23T18:24:49.980+06:00

whenever I tried explaining love it was you I ended up explaining whenever I thought of being in loveit was you I ended up being with main ney jab bhi mohabbat ko aik naam diyapata nahe kion woh tumhare humnaam hoa

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-68203222921583128122008-12-30T14:52:00.005+05:002008-12-30T15:14:20.734+05:00

..I know I am trying... trying so hard to love someone... feeling it inside... making the other feel the same.. but it seems so lost... so alien to me! ... it's like there are wallas... thick, hard, concrete walls.. surrounding my point of attention... my quest! ... I am walking the same path.. yet I feel alone... I feel restless... not knowing the way... there is complete darknesss.... alone ..

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-13232002806603188982008-12-09T21:10:00.000+05:002008-12-09T21:21:03.827+05:00

It was so odd.. I grew up maybe.. Or maybe it was just acceptance .. Acceptance of so many theories.. Acceptance of our ancestors mind frames.. What they said when i was young, which was so wrong at the time.. What they said about love.. Relations.. How to live life.. How to see whats right from wrong.. I used to disagree.. But today sitting with so many elders and kids.. I am taking the elders

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-1573656000208334902008-11-08T12:06:00.003+05:002008-11-08T12:11:37.312+05:00

...its all going the way I didn't want it to go... its just isnt rite... maybe I am not trying to find the right path... but it all seems so vague... why?? ... so many unanswered questions... so much I am unable to endure... NO! this is not about love... but my professional life... maybe related to my personal life but nothing fits the way it should... I have been trying so hard lately to get it

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-37197784507136836412008-11-03T15:22:00.002+05:002008-11-03T15:28:11.839+05:00

...there is something bothering me today... but somehow I cannot pin point on the problem... its like i know I fear something but WHAT? .. I just don't know.. its like as if someone knows my darkest secret and will use it against me.. or maybe blame me for it... not now... but in the future and I know it would hurt as hell.. Or its as if I feel I have hurt someone already soo much that its time

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-33283660226736857732008-10-28T12:31:00.003+06:002008-10-28T12:50:24.473+06:00

...it was 11:48 pm and I woke up not finding anyone in bed...I walked quietly towards the drawing room to see my family decorating the surprise birthday cake :) ... and who actually got the surprise was them.. and exactly at 12:00 am the lights went off.. Pakistan gave me a birthday gift! .. a reminder...loadshedding :D

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-87013885218997227582008-10-17T11:42:00.003+06:002008-10-17T12:15:54.321+06:00

.. rishton ko hum samajh nahe paatay... bhool jaatay hain k rishton ki dor chahay kitni bhi mazboot ho toot bhi sakti hai.. toot jatee hai... aur jab waqt guzar jaata hai tab humain ehsaas hota hai ke hum ney kia kho diya... kia paanay ke liye.. sachayee kia thee... kia bakee reh gaya... sab kuch dhundla per jata hai... itnay sawalaat zehen main hotay hain... phir wohee sawalaat... per aisa kion

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-4580566829448206022008-10-13T00:40:00.000+06:002008-10-13T00:44:59.504+06:00

I wanna live again.. Be free again.. Feel like a bird again.. I want out of this cage.. I need to breath.. I desire love.. I have to break these chains away.. I have to run.. Far far away.. I have the urge.. The urge to become ME again..

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-13820986090625633142008-10-12T17:22:00.000+06:002008-10-12T17:37:51.806+06:00

..They say love is the essence to life.. Well i do agree.. But nowadays how many people can say they are in love..or they've been loved? Many would say that, yet they actually don't understand love itself.. Having sex, making love, holding hands, hugging the other.. Kisses and caresses.. No, this ain't all love.. Being together, sharing the pain, joys and sorrows ..togetherness.. No, this isn't

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-56826899224129543282008-09-22T00:50:00.000+06:002008-09-22T01:05:12.475+06:00

Somehow i knew this was it.. Another game was to end. The game i started but life was behind it, holding the strings and playing it tight.. I didn't know i was going to loose it again.. Or perhaps i knew all along just didn't want to admit.. Life has always been this way.. I am ruled by life.. And so life comes with the whole package... The emotions, sentimenTS, feelings..anything synonymous to

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-55890386939323054942008-09-10T05:41:00.000+06:002008-09-10T06:15:21.137+06:00

Well.. Today is rather gloomy.. Coz i feel a part of my life drifting away from me! I just don't seem to get a hold of it in the right manner. I try telling it to stay, not let go of me.. Hold me.. I try reasoning it out.. I ask the questions but vague answers are all I get. What does one do in a situation like mine? How do I bring the lost back? There are times where I feel a failure.. I am

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-8146791363599236452008-08-19T12:19:00.005+06:002008-08-19T12:37:06.592+06:00

...i feel i have changed.. changed for the better, don't know.. but I feel a difference... maybe I am close to my goal.. the search... might be ending.. the search for HIM.. I feel near... closer to HIM and HIS wholesomeness.. more divine then ever.. I have lost alot in life... I have faced alot in life... but what I never lost was YOU!... YOU have been with me since I was a small piece of "gosht

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-24279211777026718272008-08-16T09:12:00.007+06:002008-08-16T10:42:26.680+06:00

..the tranquil wise man tells me to find remedy to my cries.. i agree to him.. what the wise man does not comprehend is that my life isn't that easy... it is "simply complicated" ... who doesn't want harmony and peace in ones life?? ... I want the same.. yet there are so many times I have failed in achieving it.. ..like the first time.. the world was all colorful and cheery.. But when that all

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-76295433335682494382008-08-12T14:10:00.004+06:002008-08-12T15:21:58.645+06:00

..the world is moving..rotations and circles.. time, consequently is passing by... moving with each tick of the clock.. people are progressing.. one door to another... one opportunity to another.. one breakup to another makeup.. stories come and go.. life for everyone is treading on the path to the future but ME!I feel stagnating in this one moment of life.. trying to still get over it or maybe

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-71282972036630603222008-08-08T19:48:00.000+06:002008-08-08T20:01:48.808+06:00

I love cheese and I love eating everything with cheese.. Cheese pizza, cheese omelete, cheese filled rolls.. Cheese whatever and i'm ready to eat it.. Naturally I am turning into this Fat lazy bum.. Me mum's after me like anything to make me exercise..walk, eat less and just be on a strict diet.. But i ain't doin all that.. I don't know how I can loose this weight but I know one thing for sure..

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-45063416131675159772008-07-18T21:38:00.000+06:002008-07-18T21:48:50.155+06:00

This year has been not so pleasant.. 2008 was supposed to be a great year or so was said by my dad but it has turned out to be otherwise. I am generally a negative thinker but my 2008 resolution was that i'd start thinking positively..but the scenario that i'm experiencing now leaves me no reason to think protonically.. There is like a negative aura that surrounds me..a good thing is about to

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-88361530909708140682008-02-25T14:56:00.004+05:002008-03-27T17:23:21.591+05:00

Everyday brings another new story for everyone I know... but to me life is being so unfair... it seems I am at a standstill... the water is still and stagnent and I feel bored and tired! But the strongest feeling I have rite now is of betrayal ... yes, I feel I have been played with... someone just toyed with my emotions ... Why??? ....... because I am a fool to have fallen prey to his charms...

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-73197433085680197612008-02-22T17:01:00.003+05:002008-02-22T17:20:22.524+05:00

...sometimes you tend to drift away from reality... thats when you should tell yourself to wake up and smell the grass.... in my case smell the shit that i have gotten into... what the fuck am I doing... I have no freking idea... I dnt understand... should I run from it.... or should I embrace it ... I try and stay normal and happy.... but sometimes it hurts to put up this unrealistic pretence ..

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-13230022365006136552008-02-05T17:37:00.002+05:002008-02-22T14:57:39.658+05:00

What can I do, Muslims (Submitters to God/truth)? I do not know myself.I am neither Christian nor Jew, neither Magian nor Muslim,I am not from east or west, not from land or sea,not from the shafts of nature nor from the spheres of the firmament,not of the earth, not of water, not of air, not of fire.I am not from the highest heaven, not from this world,not from existence, not from being.I am

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-87248496507928197642008-01-27T21:20:00.001+05:002008-01-27T21:32:24.223+05:00

“Shayad”Kion main apnay wojood ko bhool janay ki dua kerti hoonKion is bhanwar main aur kho janay ki dua kerti hoonMeri chahat tum se hai, main tum se hoon, per…Kion meri chahat ko nafrat main dhalnay ki dua kertay hoJaisay din dhalta hai andheri raat honay ke liyeIs rishtay se kion door bhagnay ki dua kerti hoonJo ab “shayad” apni ehmiat kho chuka haiYeh “shayad” ka lafz kab se ayaa hai,kion is

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-84080414215714009492008-01-27T21:11:00.000+05:002008-01-27T21:16:26.191+05:00

Needless Search…In the loneliness of my worldI have searched for “HIM”Deep in the oceans, in the unfathomable seaHigh on the mountains, low in the valleys deepIn the blue skies where the birds flyIn the green fields where the cattle breedsIn the heart of a seed, in the spirit of the stonesI looked everywhere…high n’ low, deep n’ shallowIn the books that I readIn the tales that I was fed,I found u

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-7393646367346100642008-01-27T20:55:00.000+05:002008-01-27T21:03:40.524+05:00

U tell me that the world is over and then ask me not to panic…. u tell me that I am about to enter hell n ask me not to cry…………….it pains me…I feel hurt, lost n without meaning…. u ask me to feel nothing…u tell me a story…and ask me to forget it…. U take the light away from me and then ask me to search for something that does not exist…u tell me a vague truth…. not whole…n u ask me not to think

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-53551830400281540662007-12-21T15:27:00.000+05:002007-12-21T15:56:26.533+05:00

... its like im at the lowest ebb of this wave called life... this sea that i am in... well, my tears made it up :( ... what will I do.... not again please.... noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... its supposed to be a happy day but its not... I m falling so hard on the floor... I dnt think I can get up anymore... I have these sobs ....the gasping for air part.... this episode is so fucking sad! "OH!

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-2076420387686353032007-11-30T00:35:00.000+05:002007-11-30T10:56:35.181+05:00

“The Embrace”At last! I have you so close in my armsTo experience every gasp u catchYour breath that strokes my neck with ecstasyCraving to hold u with the blaze flaming in meI have longed for this moment to comeGazing deep in your eyes…Feeling the intensity of your essenceEvery cord of your soul responds to my gesturesWith greatness of passion and obsession I cuddle youFeeling the curves of your

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-28548922615258668772007-11-15T12:31:00.000+05:002007-11-24T12:22:43.793+05:00

….in the midst of all emotions and purity…comes this jaded confusion. I cannot comprehend the enormity of the situation or even if the circumstances are huge or not are far from what I can see. I feel frustrated….unable to judge my own perceptions… unable to carry out any task given to me…unable to find what I should do…unable to want…unable to need….unable to love! It seems I am running after a

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-17598805223371054602007-11-12T18:32:00.000+05:002007-11-24T12:24:19.255+05:00

… Its time for the sun to embrace the sea… to make love in absolute serenity …As the sun sets on the horizon… the eye sees the dimming light… the drowning glow … the last radiance of the breathing sun … but the heart feels more… passionate as cud be the sun is anxious to set and bow down to the sea… excited in all its glory, joyful to embrace, excited to play a part in the birth of love… the sun

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-27566735431423985762007-11-05T16:34:00.000+05:002007-11-05T16:53:19.244+05:00

…for my world is tumbling down again and I have no way to handle it… so I sit alone in this darkness searching for that one ray of light… but all I can get is my feelings in BLACK & WHITE…What can I do…? I have two very important people in my life… they are fighting with life…to give them another chance and let them be healthy again … family is like a long string with every member being a part of

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-4259803129085572232007-11-04T16:11:00.000+05:002007-11-04T16:20:46.016+05:00

When you know that it’s “The End”…What do u do? What do u undergo? What comes to your mind instantly? When I knew it was “The End” I panicked…I dreaded that moment, that flash of lightening took over my life…in that explosion of time I experienced Hell and a nightmare that ended apparently, yet I live in it…it is now the mirror of my soul…I feel surrounded by demons and monsters…torturing my

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-60230543577847894632007-11-04T15:53:00.000+05:002007-11-04T15:54:40.697+05:00

You gave me more then I could bear Only loneliness was mine, & no one to shareYou gave me life I had no fear Still loneliness was mine, & no one to shareI said I was lonely, alone & tiredNo one to love, life was unfairYet my eyes searched on, lingered foreverI was lonely with no one to shareNevertheless I searched but reached nowhereAll restless & woebegone I was not even nearIn

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-41732343988462559712007-11-04T15:37:00.000+05:002007-11-04T15:47:08.536+05:00

...for I looked here there everywhere, and all I found was Love! ...I need words. I need an expression to express what I feel. I think it is all about the feeling, isn’t it? At least what I always talk about is feelings, emotions and sentiments. Isn’t life all about sensation? The passion and zeal we all feel every now and then. But how many of us can define these emotions and the whirl of

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-47264890972885616372007-10-27T10:23:00.000+05:002007-10-27T12:36:31.146+05:00

Why is it that I feel I am torn between two of the most loved ones I have in me life… or is it just that I am making it difficult for myself… I just don’t understand sometimes why??? Why do I have to do this…. Why do I need to make that choice…. Where it is life for one and loss for the other in either case… why do I talk to him and feel he will not understand… why I talk to the other and feel

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-71051643872535169462007-10-23T13:22:00.000+05:002007-10-23T13:36:03.391+05:00

…what was left behind…were years of undying affection for someone…yet it all ended!!!For years she had loved someone… giving him her complete life; every smile, every pleased emotion & every blissful experience but when it was time for sadness to crawl into her life….that smile changed from a glad curve to a straight silent expression…. She had tears in her eyes yet they never dropped…. She had

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-7593102104480165642007-10-15T23:27:00.000+05:002007-10-15T23:47:23.691+05:00

...for love has just begun...Sometimes love can make you feel… ignite all your senses…take you to unimaginable heights … but sometimes love can leave you uneasy, anxious and perturbed… sometimes it takes a smile of the loved one to make you complete…. And sometimes that same smile might get you to thinking whether or not it all matters….It could all be a reflection of ones surrounding… of what is

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-24473336717475720852007-10-11T13:33:00.000+05:002007-10-11T14:31:05.203+05:00

“…from flames to ashes… from ashes to dust… and then no more will the fire burn…”...she said what she wanted to... but what she couldn't see, was my world... burnt into flames… tumbling down... All broken and shattered into a zillion pieces… she said I was not worthy enough… she claimed I did not fulfill my purpose… she told me what dreams I had seen was all bullshit, were all untrue… my reality

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-57847951622867698522007-10-09T14:08:00.000+05:002007-10-09T14:24:44.031+05:00

Since the beginning of time existence has been a gamble played by all races and species…. The power to exist, the need of survival and the continuous struggle for meaning has been the very core of staying alive.Existence reflects the shades of life… yet we see horrific death lurking in the eyes of mankind. Existence is freedom, yet we come across mortals living in fear. Existence is being alive,

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-24255311862053376742007-10-02T14:08:00.000+05:002007-10-02T14:33:33.088+05:00

Although a moment is short-lived yet it flies by faster and more then usual for me… I feel more and more lost! Lost in the darkness that encompasses all the horizons… no matter how far I try to see….it is pitch dark… darkness that outlines nothing…. Not even the faces once familiar to me. I search in this nothingness to find yet another story… a story that will swallow me up and result in broken

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-30192795149917165502007-09-30T21:23:00.000+05:002007-09-30T21:28:48.634+05:00

Like every other day, I have a different feeling today… maybe coz I just heard a new song from an upcoming movie… but man! It feels awesome… I’d wish to be living in that world… where every thing is about singing, dancing, smiling and feeling happy… that world is phony and there is no truth in its existence and the smiles we see are so not pure…. But yes, to make the heart pound with a flow of

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-10606829829356910192007-09-29T10:52:00.000+05:002007-09-29T11:24:34.291+05:00

Yet another beginning…for he stands in front of me and I have this dilemma in my head… when my mind says something and the heart says the same thing however they both feel differently about it. How can it be? What are you trying to do? Repeat the same mistakes all over again or are you really, surely in love? .... “Love”… Dhaaaaaaaaaaaa! It can’t be…. Remember you’ve done it before. What is it

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4951579485674099539.post-70439083316972804112007-09-13T12:51:00.000+05:002007-10-09T14:40:16.676+05:00

As they say, “give all your battles to God when you are tired and forlorn, He will win them for you”. I am weary, drained and exhausted from this constant battle with life. I need an end to all this. I have fallen so many times just to get up and fall again…It’s time I let go, but something says,” Hold on to me, don’t let me go”… I hear this voice and I gain the strength to start the combat with

Hibahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06441410134199005076noreply@blogger.com0